Signs of the Apocalypse

10 05 2013

photoIn the past week I’ve noticed some strange sightings. First of all, my heart sank when I noticed, what I thought was, a dead puppy on the side of the road. I’m a big fan of dogs, huge fan, and this broke my heart. I was also angry that someone would hit a dog with their car and make no effort to properly discard it. So, I pulled off for further inspection. I anticipated a medium-sized, fluffy dog…perhaps a chocolate lab. What I found was an enormous beaver! Let me tell you something, there is absolutely no substantial body of water anywhere near the intersection where this beaver was hit. I live in the DC metro area…is this thing someone’s pet? I don’t know if it is beaver mating season  and this dude just went nuts looking for a girl, but he was definitely outside of his neighborhood. I’ve read articles recently where beavers have indeed attacked and killed people in the past year and after giving this dude the once over, I belive it. He was absolutely huge. I have seen beavers while trout fishing and have even had a small one swim through my legs before but I’ve never see one this big. Insane. So what did I do? Left it there like the last guy did. No way I was touching this thing.

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The same week I came across this striking couple. I was in the Safeway parking lot when I noticed a black bear strolling between some cars. Rather than scream black bear and run, I closed in on this monster for further inspection. The owner identified this hog of a dog as a Russian Terrier. He doesn’t look like any terrier I’ve ever seen. The guy was so proud of him and I must say, he was a pretty cool dog. Very docile and friendly. But seriously, from 50 feet, this thing looked exactly like a black bear. How do you research a dog like this? Who do you call and what do you ask? “Hey, I’m looking for a dog that looks exactly like a bear…you got one of those?” “Also, ya got any beavers?”

In other news, my baby boy is awesome? He is 9 weeks old now and is turning into a small man. He likes everything I do; eating, sleeping, pooing. Rinse and repeat. Because of my new parental responsibilities, I took a substantial break from standup but have hit the stage a few times in the last 2 weeks. It was a good break too because I honestly forgot how much fun it is to be onstage. I think I was looking at it as basically a job for the past year or so but my short hiatus has re-motivated me.

I performed at the Drafts and Laughs show two weeks ago and had a blast. I performed with 4 other comedians; Rob Maher, Danny Rouhier, Joe Robinson, and Jeff Maurer. All these guys are extremely funny but also very unique in their performance and personalities so it made for a diverse show. And, in my experience, diverse is a great thing when it comes to comedy. Diversity can come in many different forms; age, gender, race, etc. But in my opinion, the more diversity, the better the show. And, in some ways I think the same holds true for life in general. So, take care of your pet beaver, adopt a black bear, and hire five very different comedians. Different is better. You’re welcome.








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